Celebrity Hate Speeches #shameonthem

 brie larsonThe lady doth protest too much, methinks

Hello fellow citizens,

Gus Morley here. With another cultural hoopla hash tag upon us, this time in the form of feminist celebrity agendas, I thought you might like to see the latest request we received here at the Protest Emporium. The seeker wishes to remain anonymous. She was very lucid in her request, though, and I think her words plainly and elegantly illuminate a disturbing trend among young up-and-coming celebs who have been Hollywoodized.

Here is part of her request (grammar and punctuation unedited):

Dear Guy Morley – I’ve noticed a recent trend amongst young actors 2day and its really bin bugging the heck outta me! My brother says you helped him out getting him some custom bump stickers for tailgaters so i know you can help me. When bri Larson got up and gave her speech about white dudes’ I was like whaaat? Girl u need to sit down and I’m a woman of color myself! Why does this privileged millionaire actor think she’s suddenly the voice of the underepresented? and what exactly was she calling to be done or was she just exalting one group to marginalizing another.  that girl, pretty she is, BUT she ain’t no hero. If you’re given an award or honored with the chance to give a speech it should be with gratitude and all about positive things not blame and racism and feminist claptrap.

So, from you i need a smartly written petition thing with all the you know professional letterhead and stuff that I can pass around get people to sign so that Oscars and academy awards winners have to GIVE THANKS and then get down. I don’t want to hear no agendas at an awards show from celebrities! It is not a platform for Hollywood to shape our thinking! If this sort of anti-men crap keeps up pretty soon men wont be allowed to win Awards u know? I know how it will start. A man will win but then nobody will clap and after his speech no one will clap—crickets u no? then they wont even bother letting men win because its bad for media attention and then only women be allowed to win – you wait and see.

Send me the petition done all up professional like you do and I’ll send you the moneys. Oh, BTW, my brother also showed me a speech by Paul Hogan at the Oscars a long time ago and let me tell you that is how u do it! nothing controversial, nothing hateful, just good clean fun, not like that pretty little girls hate speech, which just serves to stir up anger and hatred.

I want to thank Mr. Morley and his Protest Emporium for sharing that with us. These days it seems everyone is vying to be the Next Big Thing, striving to make their voice heard no matter who they have to marginalize. If you feel the need to ask yourself ‘Am I saying I hate white men?’ throughout your speech, then maybe that’s your first sign that you should sit down. It’s not cool to denigrate anyone. Except, our culture has decided that there is one group you can still crap on: straight white Christian men. These days if you’re a SWCM, society automatically quantifies you guilty of being a homophobic, racist, close-minded misogynistic pig. But doesn’t it seem hypocritical to marginalize any group merely because it contains a few bad apples?

I don’t presume that all celebs are man-haters just because a few have publically railed against men during their ‘thanks’ speech. Some have also used the awards shows as a platform for political reform, castigating our president in vicious diatribes. But this does not make me assume all award winners are evil. There are simply a few bad apples in the group. (Also, I tend to believe Brie Larson is being manipulated by far more cunning powers within Hollywood, who use her as their voice, as, for some reason these days society tends to listen more to pretty young women than it does to the wise)

So do yourself a favor; when you hear these shaming speeches, don’t buy into their agenda. Make up your own darn mind about people and groups. They may be trying to control your thoughts and beliefs. DON’T LET THEM! I expose these slimy tactics in my expose/parody The (Psycho) Path to Success, available here. Arm yourself beforehand with knowledge of their manipulative methods, and you will be able to identify the rotten core of a hateful heart when your hear it.

As always, God bless–and for goodness sake, change the toilet paper roll when it’s empty